The scene where Buffy finally confesses her love for Spike is one of the most beautiful in the entire episode, and him denying that she feels that love, upon first viewing, one of most heart breaking. However, I think that scene goes a lot deeper than what is immediately obvious.

I’d like to thank Andrew for this belief. Andrew the storyteller. At the end of the episode, Andrew tells Xander that Anya died saving his life. Which isn’t an outright lie, they were both fighting for survival, but is certainly seen through his vision of what makes the story. Anya is killed from behind, sliced down the middle and tossed aside as unimportant. She didn’t die a coward’s death, but she didn’t die the hero that Andrew chose to make her out as, doing, as Xander said, “the brave thing.”

Because she did do the brave thing. The ending isn’t what’s important here, it’s the content of her journey. How Anya went from a demon to a true human. To some who really loved humans, who believed in them. No, her death wasn’t as spectacular as Spike’s, but to focus simply on that death does an injustice to her life. I think Andrew knew that, and I think he realized that Anya deserved to be remembered in the most heroic of terms, and that Xander deserved a picture of her, in those final moment, that represented the side of her Andrew had seen at the hospital.

I bring this example up because I think that it is important to note what Spike and Buffy’s relationship was during the entirety of Season 7, instead of just focusing on how it ended. Out of everyone, Spike should know that she loves him. He’s always been good at seeing through the barriers that people put up to try and disguise themselves. So why would he claim that she didn’t love him when it’s painfully clear, looking at episodes such as “Touched,” that she did?

Because he knew it was coming. Cassie tells him that “She’ll tell you. Someday,” and I think from there on out Spike has that thought in the back of his mind. Now along with this thought is the knowledge that he may not survive the final fight. He knows the Medallion is probably dangerous and possibly deadly, and the moment it starts to activate, I think he knows that he’s going to die. By the time she comes to it, he’s ready to go. Just one more thing he’s waiting to hear before the end.

That she loves him.

That’s all he needs. That, and the promise that Buffy will have a future, even if he does not. So he makes to sacrifices that day. One saves her life. The other is an attempt to save her heart.

If anyone knows how love can sting, it’s Spike. He’s felt the hurt of it all his life. And he also knows, better than most of the gang, the weight of living, especially on Buffy. When he looks at her, when he speaks to her, what he is really telling her to do is to live.

To go on living.

So one of them is living.

He lies to her. He paints the picture that he believes will best protect her, because what else can he do for the woman he loves, in those final moments? He wants to give her the life she deserves. It’s all he’s ever wanted.